21 September 2013

Pregnant Girl Problems...

This is pregnancy number 2 for me in as many years, I've passed 30 weeks, and I just want to say...

I AM OVER IT.

Every time I think those words, I feel a little bit guilty. I know there are plenty of mommies out there who wish their pregnancies made it this far, who are battling infertility and wishing they could endure the nastiness that is pregnancy, but I am really tired of being pregnant.

My pregnancy with BabyA wasn't exactly a walk in the park. I started suffering from extreme sciatica at 8 weeks pregnant. Thanks to weekly (and sometimes 2-3 times weekly) chiropractic adjustments, I was able to function through my pregnancy...barely. Then there was the nausea and vomiting. With the exception of a 2 week respite early in the second trimester and the four weeks at the end of my pregnancy when I was finally able to enjoy it somewhat, I was sick the entire time. On the plus side, I gained so little that I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight by the time I left the hospital.

This pregnancy has presented its own set of challenges, but so far, I think it's considerably worse. I had awful "morning" sickness for the first 16 weeks. Why do they call it "morning" sickness anyway? That nastiness had me puking my guts up 24/7 for the entirety of the first trimester...and then some. Instead of the severe sciatica, I have occasional flare-ups that are almost completely managed by my weekly chiropractic visits. Of course, I also have excruciating pelvic pain (which I'm almost convinced is Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction, but my OBGYN won't make the diagnosis) that puts me in tears on a regular basis because I decide to do crazy things like stand up and walk. That pain radiates to my right hip, which also refuses to hold an adjustment, despite my chiropractor's best efforts.

I am much more hormonal during this pregnancy than I was with BabyA. I cry more easily, and I am convinced on a semi-weekly basis that The Husband no longer loves me and wants a divorce. I can't make this stuff up, people.

The Gestational Diabetes has only added a whole other level of stress and drama to this pregnancy. Since I'm not the naive first time mom who blindly followed her OBGYN's recommendations (which were suspiciously similar to orders), I have the further addition of stress that goes with navigating a maternity care system that is so far removed from what birth and pregnancy really are. If you're not familiar with the standard of maternity care in the United States, consider yourself warned (if you're a resident) or lucky (if you're not). The fact that I have an HMO just adds another layer to my crazy cake.

Sometimes, I find moments of fun in my pregnancy (and I'm not talking about the kind of fun that requires you to carry an extra pair of pants and underwear in your car at all times). Yesterday, I wore a sleeping BabyA in our Beco Soleil while browsing at Walmart, and enjoyed the fact that I was technically tandem wearing with just one carrier. About once a day, BabyA will kiss my stomach or blow raspberries on her baby brother, which melts my heart. And the feeling of Minion kicking me as I lie in bed is one of my favorite sensations.

Tandem Wearing with one carrier! It takes less skill than you'd think.


I'm impatient to meet Minion face to face. I haven't dreamt of him the way that I dreamt of BabyA, so I have no idea what he will look like (I knew BabyA would have red, curly hair). I can't wait to see if The Husband's genes will win out again or if Minion will look at least a little bit like me.

But I'm also nervous. Anticipation has never been my favorite, and anticipating the arrival of a child while dealing with all of the aforementioned obstacles makes anticipation look more and more like a four letter word. On the one hand, I'm anxious to meet my son and to stop being pregnant (to drink a beer!), but on the other hand, I still have so much to do in preparation. The Husband hasn't even read my birth plan, for crying out loud!

So here's where I thank you for listening to my random ramblings and reading these stress-filled sentences. Sometimes, you just need to get things off of your chest before you can move on with your life. Wouldn't you agree?

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